If you were wondering where the hell I’ve been and what I’ve been up to, here’s the short(ish) version…
After getting my masters in nutrition three years ago, I had full intentions of starting my holistic nutrition practice (a big thank you to those of you who have been here since then). But then lots of life events happened that knocked me off my path including going through a divorce, moving from Washington to Denver, being diagnosed with melanoma and having 50+ stitches in my leg, and then finally losing my dad last year two days before Christmas.
Don’t worry, this isn’t a post asking for a pity party but also holy sh*t, life can get really messy and hard sometimes.
Anyway, in July, when I was feeling a glimmer of motivation, I reached out to my friend Lexy Penney, who I met on Instagram a few years ago and who I instantly connected with. She’s a registered dietitian right outside Boston who specializes in weight-inclusive nutrition and I knew from the first time meeting her that I wanted to work for her (also, we share so many qualities including the same birthday!! - although she's a bit younger). So I asked her what she thought and she immediately said yes, and well, now I’m her intern!
Weight-inclusive nutrition is focused on dietary and other lifestyle factors that have nothing to do with losing weight. And as someone who is so sick of diet culture and its overwhelming presence of restriction and shame, I am all about this particular type of wellness support.
It’s a modality where you focus on adding in nutrition where you can vs going on a diet and eliminating food groups. Where you can find rest from all-or-nothing thinking and from toxic wellness/diet culture behaviors. It focuses on a holistic approach to health while also emphasizing the truth that health does not equal worth.
It's important to know that it's ok to want to lose weight. I think the anti-diet space becomes just as toxic as diet culture when it comes from a lens of thinking you are "bad" if you want to lose weight. But what weight-inclusive nutrition does is help you to "de-prioritize weight loss as the holy grail of happiness, and creates a WAY more positive relationship with your body and food" as Lexy mentions in her latest Instagram post.
I've been able to sit in on some of her client calls and it's been hugely eye-opening as well as one of the most supportive and authentic environments I've witnessed within the wellness space.
So, you'll start to see me posting more and more about this and eventually sharing with you my offerings as I start seeing clients. Stay tuned. Yay!
Grief is Wild
It's incredibly complex, and I had no idea. Yes, I did my share of grieving when I went through my divorce, but I could have never imagined how life-altering losing a parent would be. And no one tells you this! Obviously I knew it would be sad. But I didn't really know.
My dad, Scott Hunt Miller, was the coolest friggin guy. He was hilarious, charismatic, unfiltered, open-minded, supportive, and free-thinking. He was someone who knew me unlike anyone else. As Martha Beck says, he knew my "essential self" or who I was at my soul. We connected on so many different levels and every day I see the many ways in which I am like him. He was my security and stability. He was part of my routine. He was my biggest fan.
Part of my grief therapy included a writing group which I found to be an invaluable experience (side note: if anyone is going through any sort of grief, I highly recommend attending some type of grief group - I was very hesitant at first but am so grateful for the two groups I joined during some of the worst parts of my grief journey).
Here is a small piece of what came up during this group:
No one tells you how it’s going to be when your dad dies. No one prepares you for the waves of darkness, guilt, loneliness, anger, and sadness that drown you over and over again, pressing you down and then lifting you up.
No one gives you a manual on wanting your surviving parent to be there for you when they’re going through their own deep grief.
No one reminds you that this is all a natural part of life.
If you've made it this far in the post, thank you for sticking around! I know grief and grief talk can be icky and uncomfortable, but I'm hoping that by me being open about it, maybe it can help someone who may feel the same. Seriously, had I known this was the game I had to play, I would have wanted to go into it with as much support and understanding as possible.
And grief isn't all sad. There's a lot of joy within it. And there's a lot of walking with both sadness and joy. Part of my grief journey is finding ways to honor my dad. For me, it's little things like wearing his flannels or wedding ring (thanks, mom!!) or eating turkey sandwiches (his fave) or listening to music (that was our thing) or just simply talking about him like I get to do here.
I moved to Utah
So guys, if you don’t know already, I moved to Salt Lake City nearly two months ago. I know! I'm a nomad, it seems. Haha!
Utah wasn't a place on my radar, but my partner, John, is a flight nurse who decided he wanted to go back to school to become a CRNA (nurse anesthetist) and he got into a school here in the Sugar House neighborhood of SLC.
When he found out he got into the school in October of last year, he was worried that asking me to go with him would be too much of an ask. Which seemed silly to me. Because I have moved from Ohio, to NYC, to Hawaii, to San Francisco, to St. Croix USVI, to Seattle, and to Denver. So, I was all for this new challenge with my new partner. And here we are!
So far, we absolutely love it. Our home is super cozy and we can walk to lots of shops and restaurants. And the mountains are SO CLOSE! We're basically at the base of the Wasatch Mountain range and we also have views of downtown as we are situated up on a hill in the city. Sunsets are magical as we watch from our front porch - you can even see the planes taking off from SLC International Airport.
If any of you have some insider info on SLC, I would love it!
I Cut Off All My Hair
I’ve had long blonde hair for most of my adult life (except for that time I asked a stylist to take a few inches off and blend my highlights with my roots and ended up with a dark brown 70’s shag mullet). After moving to Utah, I had this urge to chop off all my hair. So, I found a new stylist, who wasn’t initially stoked to do the cut (she said I’d likely regret the grow out stage) but ended up cutting off 10 or more inches and we both fell in love with it!
My best friend sent me photos of us from the sixth grade where my hair is short and I was thinking that’s probably the last time I even had short hair. So, now I look in the mirror and see both my 12-year-old self and also my almost 41-year-old self - such a representation of when life was carefree and I could just be a kid and now as an adult having to navigate all the mess. It makes me both sad and grateful.
Call it a mid-life crisis, call it a shedding of the old to make way for the new, whatever it is, it's so damn fun and I'm here for it! Not to mention both the amount of time I save washing it (I felt nearly bald the first time I washed it post-cut) AND the amount of money I'll save on conditioner are totally worth it. Ha!
Have you done something lately that may have felt a bit scary but after you did it, you wondered why you hadn't done it sooner?
I’m Teaching Yoga Again
Finally!!! After 18 months of an online hiatus, I am back on Zoom sharing weekly yoga classes through Yoga Collective, an online platform shared by some other amazing teachers from The Mindful Body (my home studio, we all miss you!!) in San Francisco.
Starting Monday, December 4, I'll be teaching twice a week:
Mondays 6-7pm PST: Slow Flow
Thursdays 9-10am PST: Hatha Flow
Check out more information on my website. Oh, and I'm also looking towards having some monthly or quarterly pop-up classes so stay tuned for that.
What I especially love about this platform is that if you miss the live class, you'll get the recording right after!
Change is Here to Stay
It’s hilarious to me that I got up from writing this blog post to make some tea and the tag on my tea bag reads "The only constant is change." Thanks, magical tea wisdom. I get it!
Life is weird. Always surprising and challenging you. And teaching you. I hope that you know I appreciate and love each and every one of you. Seriously. Thank you for being here and letting me share what makes my boat float. I'm one lucky gal.